defy gravity!

it’s time to let you go

it’s time to say goodbye
no more excuses
no more tears to cry
there’s been so many changes
i was so confused
all along you were the one
all the time i never knew

i want you to be happy
you’re my best friend
but it’s so hard to let you go now
all that could have been

i’ll always have the memories
she’ll always have you

fate has a way of changing
just when you don’t want it to…

throw away the chains
let love fly away
til love comes again
i’ll be okay

life passes so quickly
you gotta take the time
or you’ll miss what really matters
you’ll miss all the signs

i’ve spent my life searching
for what was always there
sometimes it will be too late
sometimes it won’t be fair

i won’t give up
i won’t give in
i can’t recreate what might have been
i know that my heart will find love again
now is the time to begin

throw away the chains
let love fly again
til love comes again
i’ll be okay

i can’t hold on forever baby
i’ll be okay

(say it through a song, why don’t i…methinks amanda marshall wrote this one with little old me in mind. so what do you think? don’t worry about me…i’ll be okay)

pasumbingay
(metaphors)

pirmi na lang ta magpalaban sa pasumbingay
aw, otro man sad diay kong dakong talawan ani.
ngano kahang di makasulti,
gamayng butang di man malitok

ang-ang, wa man ta maanad ani
magpa wais wais ta harung ingnon apan sa tinood lang,
lupig pa ang bag-ong panganak nako
maypa gani ang gamayng bata…makatiyabaw pa man ug naay gibati

ingon imong amigo sala man ni nimo tanan
tan-awa ra gud unsaon ko nimo pag tratar, lupig pa ang
di nato hisgotan uy, kay padung na pud kos pasumbingay ani
daganan sa mga talawan (sa maong sitwasyon,ang mga magbabalak tanan talawan!)

naglisod ko kay
di ko kahibalo asa ko mulugar ani
gaduwa-duwa pirmi sa badlis
sa taliwa sa dalan
tubig-tubig nga gamayng sipyat patay
gahinuwatay tag kinsa una maligsan (malooy man ko nimo
kay dali ra kay ka mu-angkon ug sala nga wa nimo gibuhat
aron lang di ko masakitan)
gahinuwatay basin pa diay ikaw una mapul-an
aning atong hagwa-hagwa

di ko ganahan ikaw maligsan uy
(lisod ra ba tangtangon ang mantsa sa dugo)
kay ako man ang labad…di ko makahibalo mutan-aw kung
go
na o
stop

maypag undangan ta ni no?
lami man sad. kada tapad nato magsige man tag katawa ug agik-ik
wa man tay problema, ang imong mga kasakit dinha sa imong dughan nga
imong gipagawas nako
ato ra mang himoong sumsuman. red horse, tanduay ug mojitos ra diay ang kaatbang ana
lad-okon uy, tonlon tanan, di ta mahadlok mahubog
kay ngano? naa man ka. naa man ko.

unsay ending ani?
mayng lain pa. ninang kos imong anak pohon. kamagwangan hangton sa kamanghuran.
kay mao man na sa uban nakong higalang niagi ani.
pero ingon ka imong usbon ang ending.
mutuo sad baya ko…kay sukad-sukad, di man nako malantaw ang mga panghitabo
kung bahin na nimo
sa iningles pa, unpredictable ka. ako sab. mao nga angay tang pakongon usahay.
basin pa diay
dili ta mahuman sa tuldok (.)
matod pa nimo
naa bay storya nga mahuman sa tudling (,)?
waynot

sama sa atong gisumsuman atong niaging adlaw
basin pa diay (mamasin lang gud ko)
wa ni kahumanan…

(my apologies to those who do not speak my language. sometimes, one needs to unburden in the tongue you were born into. and yes, because something gets sadly, hopelessly lost in translation.)

the trick, my love, is to see with the heart.

on the wall of kahayag hung several digital art pieces, some raunchy…others cartoonish. i stopped at the second, a piece by Leandro Panganiban and Paolo Gomez that looked like a scene straight out of Pinoy Komiks. it took my breath away.

out on a field of green (my favorite hue), on a bench, under a shade of trees, a man sits (sprawled, more like it), eyes closed against a ray of soft sunlight on his face. strong jawline, sturdy legs, feet in slippers, hair arranged to defy gravity…even my brother agrees in a whisper: "yep, it looks like him"

right next to him is a girl, eyes closed too, dreamy countenance with a smile-to-be frozen on her features. she rests her chin on the wide of her palm. my "official pose", my two boys laugh in Bantayan.

it is a quiet moment in this pair’s life. a moment of "hush", delicious silence. who knows what either is thinking. he’s probably cooking up something to tell her, because he knows it will always get her to laugh. and his smile? the anticipation of her reply; she always has the right punchline to get him to show teeth.

are they a couple? we’ll never know, won’t we? they could just be two people who get along so well, even if it is so hard to explain. even to themselves.

hush. she’s probably dreamt for so long for someone who will enjoy her silence, and not just her wonderful noise. if you get to see this piece, you will agree that they both look very happy. a moment frozen in time to be kept in endless bliss. the frame and glass shielding them from the reality that, in real time, there is no "them".

i plop down my cash to bring it home, and immediately hang it where i can see it in the morning.
hush. there’s that moment. i could not ask for more.

belay runs to bachelor girl, let me follow suit. i walked under a bus, got hit by a train, keep falling in love (which is kind of the same). i’ve sunk out at sea, crashed my car, gone insane…

…but it felt so good, i wanna do it again.

thank you for seeing me with your heart.